400!

today was a very good day.

shall leave it at that.

=D

399

oh man I'm falling sick during CHINESE new year.

blah.

3 days of the 5 day break gone. and I'm so getting used to waking up at 11am every day. damn.

and haven't gotten any work done as usual. nevermind at least I can blame that on my falling sick. [but then I've managed to finish fellowship in a day again ._.]

oops.

and once sunday's gone it's back to the monotony again. meh.

just more crowded though.

j1s year5s are irritating.

WARNING: largely incoherent paragraph after this - you're best advised to skip it ty.

blah 've been quite depressed these few days thinking about life after death school - can't believe that this'll be my last year in RI/RJ [and like I so miss RI life]. plus there's this huge cloud of uncertainty hanging over me - NS [argh] and uni / scholarship applications [meh] - no idea what to do about them / what I'm gonna do in uni / where to go to / what to do after uni. so these questions make things kinda stressful. plus you have things like CT1 / prelims which I'm quite certain of messing up [especially thanks to GP]. and why did I even take H3 geo in the first place. blah. and of course there's this general feeling of inadequacy / that I'm not good enough and that I'll screw things up [my essay-writing skills are crap really. as can be seen from this blog lol. and my transcripts/records aren't all that spectacular either]. and that I won't get into (insert university name here) and/or I'll mess things up after I get in / won't be able to compete and all that. so in a sense there's this fear that well I'm not as good as I used to be / as I'm supposed to be / as I thought I'd be / as what everyone else sees of me. well this is the real world I guess. time to get out of the system [and move on into another one ._.] so as always things will come to pass and we'll see how things go when we get there. but still that doesn't help the worrying for now.

meh.