426 / and if I never see you again

so it ended yesterday lol.

chem paper 1 didn't go very well. blah.
maybe cos I wasn't thinking much. or not reading questions properly. as usual.

but who cares everything's done!
doesn't quite feel like it though. maybe cos I've started slacking once GP / physical geog were over. lol.

yeah seriously spreading out papers over 4 weeks is quite irritating.

went for class dinner after chem. spent close to like 3hrs sitting in LJ and talking lol.

pity it was with the wrong class.

ahem.


anyway just realised when leaving school after chem / going home from dinner that well after yesterday and apart from one day in march next year it's very likely that there're going to be people whom I may never meet again for the rest of my life. what with NS and people heading off all over the world for uni - and since I really doubt there'll be a 2Q reunion (or for that matter a complete 4H reunion) to speak of in the future anyway. also there's no such thing as a S06 RA get-together right. lol. so odds are that well apart from the occasional fb status update here and there I won't really see some people anymore.

which is quite a scary thought.

but inevitable I guess.
but then one never really knows who you might bump into many many years down the road.

hopefully people still remember me though XD.


ok well now that As are over nothing much left to do I guess.
but wait.


seems like I keep spending my life waiting for things - application results, A level results, enlistment, ORD, uni - that just underwhelm when they actually do happen.

maybe I'm doing something wrong here. I don't know.

all this anticipation is really overrated.
and if you go read a few posts down about me talking about prelim results... well.

ahem.


ok I guess this is long enough and I'm running out of things to say anyway. blah.

so really all of you whom I've met in these 6 years in RI/RJ and who happen to chance upon this - well it's been nice knowing you. even if we don't see each other ever again (apart from march next year and then you never know since there are what 1200-odd people in the hall anyway so we might not even bump into each other then) hopefully you'll still remember me. lol.

but then again I think something we all fear is irrelevance - of being forgotten and cast aside / left behind - as the rest of the world goes on without us.
and the world's a pretty large place anyway. so how do we matter eh. thus I don't know if that kinda diminishes whatever I've said above. but I guess it's true I hope I've been able to at least leave people with something.

I don't know.

425

42 more hours.

really really really bored today. and yesterday. and the day before that.

so maybe that's why I'm blogging again.

spent the past few days reading very many articles off longform.org. which is actually a rather fun site. it's like a tumblr for feature articles and stuff. but rather US-centric though.

just that my eyes get tired after reading for very long. and it's rather irritating to scroll back 30-odd pages to get to the page where I last stopped.

no idea what to do now.
can really taste the freedom just waiting for me but then again I don't even know what I'm going to do with the next 3 months free.

really need to find something to do with my life.
lawrence suggests learning / taking up something. but knowing me I'll give up less than halfway in.

I'm too lazy already.

maybe I should get back to playing emerald on vba. but thing is the previous game that I started got wiped when my com died in october so don't really feel like starting all over again lol.

listening to dire straits on youtube again.
can't decide if that or journey's better lol.

speaking of being lazy I know I should stop using it as an excuse to not do things. and really put myself to doing actual work for once. but. I'm too lazy. XD

and I have this feeling being lazy is nature's way of levelling the playing field lor.

...
who am I kidding really.

oh just realised I haven't checked cracked.com today.


and I realised in like 2 days time I can't really tag all my posts as school anymore. XD

424

and it's over!

well almost. no more writing at least. lol.

and I can so taste the freedom ahead.
well fine actually I was so slacking ever since last week. oops.

like only started mugging for human geog at like what 5pm last night. lol. but whatever it's over! and hopefully I did myself justice on the paper.

wasn't quite satisfied with my answers though. but then again I hardly ever am. so whatever.

can't believe that like 11 papers are gone and there're just 2 left. wonder how I even made it through these 3 weeks lol.

and seriously the papers are way too spread out. but whatever.

no idea what I'm gonna do post-As though.
hm.

I feel sleepy.

423

no more math for the next 2 years!
8 more papers left.

math was kinda fun actually.
and somehow my paper 1 went a lot better than paper 2.
maybe cos I was kinda falling asleep while trying to do p2. and the questions were rather irritating so somehow felt like giving up halfway. which was weird.

so I ended up sketching the same graph 4 times cos I kept messing up the sketch. and then did integration 4 times as well since my algebra kept failing and I kept losing track of my - signs. so yeah took about 1h30 for pure math in paper 2 ._.
(well at least in the end I think I did get everything correct there. I hope.)

but messed up q12 due to misreading and not really thinking properly. maybe cos I so wanted the paper to end.

slacked the whole of yesterday. oops.
and I'm going for camp tomorrow. like before physics. oh dear.


ok time to memorise stupid definitions. and hope the paper's as easy as our prelims lol.

422

two more gone, ten left.

GP was a complete disaster.

didn't know what I was writing for my essay.

hopefully the bell curve saves me - but then seeing how AQ and summary were very straightforward I wonder what'll happen.

and interestingly the more math I do the worse I get.

blah. back to vectors.

421/the beginning of the end

one down; twelve more to go.

and I only started mugging yesterday!

but I realised my exam timetable is very nice I don't have any days with double papers (except GP of course).

maybe that's why I've been slacking so much.

but then again chem today wasn't half bad - and was actually rather fun.
like the tough / irritating questions were more than balanced out by the very very easy ones. lol.

so yeah maybe I shouldn't have worried so much.

now for GP tomorrow. and I think I'm falling sick. bleh. and I realised I haven't done any GP since august.

hopefully the questions are nice to me tomorrow.

everyone's telling me not to worry for GP, that I'll do fine etc. - maybe I will. and everyone was telling me to not worry for chem either XD
and I don't really feel like cramming trivia now. blah. and you can't really mug for GP I guess. just go in calm enough and things should work out fine.

yeah but the problem is going in with a calm mind / clear head. lol. especially since I think I'm falling sick. blah why does this keep happening with every major exam this year lol.

sigh most probably gonna sleep in 30 min or something.


but hmm chem marks really the beginning of the end of JC / school life in general. part of me still can't quite fathom that I've already gotten to this stage - that now everything's over and all that's left is this final final final stretch - that our education system's supposed to have led us to. (well of course it isn't the be all and end all of everything but it's still important ENOUGH. although less important than prelims imo lol). and even kevin sim has taken to scaring me about my A level grades since I've been slacking so much ._.

but really quite surprised that after all these 6 years in RI/RJ I'm finally here - at the end. and so not quite ready for what comes next.

oh dear.

but well one down 12 more to go.