hmm haven't reached home before 9pm any time this week.
and they call this the holidays lol.
also I was supposed to be doing my h3 assignments and / or prepping for chemO selection. and yet I did neither. bleh.
[non-rc people can skip the part below you most likely won't get it lol]
got dragged into something that burnt most of weds thurs and fri. a lost cause perhaps. so actually it was none of my business.
but then again maybe it was entirely my business considering that I didn't do anything about it the whole of this year up till now.
but question is: is this even my responsibility in the first place?
also next question: why do I even continue to come back when I don't have to?
maybe it's the sense of belonging / attachment / responsibility that I have for this current batch of sec4s. and for the unit at large. or maybe it's just cos it's payback for my not having done much in sec3 or sec4 then. or perhaps it's also because I have nothing better to do with my life and I'm just bored and need something to do so might as well go do something meaningful [well to me at least]. or all of the above.
but after these 2 years when I look back what will I see / what would have I done?
did I really make that much of a difference lol.
I have no idea.
[ok the rest of you can continue reading from below]
I am in a sense a relic; someone who's past his time.
someone still clinging on to things that have long gone / that should have been let go off a long time ago.
so in a sense I guess I've been feeling very out-of-place these few days - not really fitting in into the present, be it in RJ or RI: the former since I never really was part of it in the first place (and/or since it's really a very short phase and I haven't fully had the chance to get used to it yet. well actually I have in some/most regards but then for things like the culture and whatnot - not really) and for the latter since things have changed so much since I left. bah.
so I just go about my life lingering on in a place that I shouldn't even be in.
while the rest of the world moves on.
yeah I'm damn sleepy now so apologies if this doesn't make sense.
